Billboard Trawl – Ep 1 August

Billboard Trawling

So in this monthly article I am going to trawl through billboard genre by genre choosing a song by an artist and reviewing it randomly.

I’m going to try to do as many genres as possible

However there are simple rules to Billboard Trawling these are

  1. The artist can only be reviewed Once
  2. Chart position does not matter
  3. It is by billboards definition of genres not mine


This is the most boring genre to review as I know most of these songs so I’m going to try to choose one I don’t know

Kent Jones – Don’t Mind

This is a ridiculously feel good song. This song has summer banger written all over it. The instrumental is simple however it works so well showing a summer song can be understated. That chorus is a literal earworm. Good luck not getting this sh*t stuck in your head. Now onto the lyrics which unfortunately they completely let the song down. Did some not tell Mr Jones here that when a song sounds this happy with catchy hook that there is a place for sexual innuendos and unnecessary swearing. Also this guy is a terrible rapper point blank period

Flume ft Kai – Never Be Like You

Hmm where to begin. Well will start with the instrumental. It sounds like the producer just listened FutureSex/LoveSounds by Justin Timberlake, went home downloaded a Timbaland sound pack and then went to work. This is of course then put through the 2016 pop filter because god help me if all the songs don’t sound the same. That is such a shame as it is the most interesting part of this song. Let me clarify I dislike this song but not because it sounds bad it actually sounds acceptable. My problem is this like many other songs in pop nowadays is that it is uninteresting to the point of being insulting. Flume said this about the track

“We laid down some chords and started an idea but weren’t feeling inspired. So we went out into the night for a few hours and when we returned, it all started to come together.”

Unfortunately for her and Kai this still sounds uninspired.


A genre that I grew up around however I’m going to be honest I do enjoy Bro-Country. I know I know but sonically I just enjoy the songs. Now I have a whole list to choose from because I do not pay attention to the country charts so here we go, also weird observation but there is only 3 women in the top 25

Jake Owen – American Country Love Song

With this title there was no way I was ignoring it. It honestly starts the verses with Talking! From that point onwards it is a standard country pop tune. Simple 4 chord structure, Overlaying guitar riff, super vague lyrics that will always have the song’s title in the chorus. All in all it is actually a solid song if you don’t mind country pop. However to some people this style of country music is just pop with a southern twang

Kelsea Ballerini – Peter Pan

This is not a country song. I don’t mean that in the way I mentioned before about country pop this song is actually just a straight pop song. There is literally nothing that makes this country she’s probably signed to a country label or from the south or something let me check ……….. (Three minutes later) yep just as I expected she is from Tennessee and signed to a country label. My question is that all it takes to be considered country nowadays. Anyways onto the song I actually like it. I like the lyrics and I like how it sounds. However the only problem is that the song is devoid of personality it honestly sounds like any random female from Disney/Nickelodeon. But hey I don’t mind that type of pop music.



Hello my old friend. I think the noughties hit rock music super hard in a way that it has truly not recovered. Even looking at the chart is a bit depressing. Firstly let me say this just because you are a band and use instruments does not make you rock music. Let’s proceed shall we

X Ambassadors – Unsteady

I will start by saying this I find the song personally ok but I can see why people like it. Music like this always sounds to me like the promo song for a TV drama that’s about to start a new season. I will say this though the song is enough to catch your attention enough to want to listen to their other stuff.  The song also could lend itself to being remixed quite well. Sam Harris’ vocal abilities are on full display here and he kills it. The backing is understated but powerful. So all in all check it if your into alternative rock.

Ben Rector – Brand New

If the last song was promo a TV drama this one is basically saying to “Join Sky now”. Honestly it’s not even that bad of a song however it just lacks balls. I feel like I just listened to the soundtrack to a teen romance movie. From some comments I’ve read underneath the video people are saying they think this sounds like a Christian song. And that is spot on this song is so light and airy with no real substance like a badly made cake.

R&B/Hip Hop

Here it is, my bread and butter. No introductions needed however if I’m more critical it is only cause hip hop is my shit

D.R.A.M Ft Lil Yachty – Broccoli

I had to listen to the song three times before I wrote something down. At some point in the timeline we messed up. The reason I’m saying is because WTF is this bullshit. I can’t fathom what I’m listening to. Now I could be a hipster and say this an Avant-garde re-imagining of standard hip hop tropes and in that way it subverts conventional sound that in itself makes it unique track but alas im not a douche and I’m going to call this song out for what it is, absolute garbage

Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons With Logic, Ty Dolla $ign & X Ambassadors – Sucker For Pain

Just sneaking in the chart here at the bottom. Tis was in the rock chart but because I had already wrote about X Ambassadors already I couldn’t write it. However Buddha has listened to my prayers. With 2 bands and 4 rappers this is a combined total of 12 musicians. Oh god does this mean this could be some sort of topical message record. (5 minutes later). Holy Fuck how did they manage to make a good song in which every single person held their own . I’m genuinely shocked Wiz had a decent verse, logic’s verse was ok perfectly acceptable, I don’t listen to much of his music so I don’t know if this was underwhelming of or not. God dammit Ty Dolla $ign has gone from strength to strength in the last year showing he is now pop music’s go to rapper a spot that used to be held by the next man. Lil Wayne has fallen off in the last two years, personally I believe it’s more to do with his personal problems than his actual ability, This is the best Weezy has sounded in over a year, If he can keep this up he should have no problems going back to the top of the mountain. Both bands where quite good. Their sounds are similar so it doesn’t seem too difficult for them to collaborate however managing to also make a great backdrop for the rappers to shine that is artistry. I was honestly expecting something super ridiculous but im left here eating my words because this song is good, very very good


I enjoy electronic music however with it being completely mainstream to the point that the pop chart is either an electronic/ hip hop chart it feels kind of redundant to review it ah well I could find a Gem.

Galantis – No Money

This is a summer tune. I dare you not dance to this. That hook is so catchy. The kid’s chorus of voices works well for the track. The thing that gets me the most is the piano in the track it instantly reminds of early nineties dance music with its use of syncopation. All in all great song. Good Work Galantis

Cheat Codes x Kris Kross Amsterdam – Sex

This is not a great song, it’s kind of boring and it has a massive sample that’s kind of used in a crap way. I honestly have no idea if this song is supposed to be sexy or? I’m generally confused at what tone they were going for. This is one of the least sexy songs if have ever heard about sex. You could literally sing about anything in this song and it would have the exact effect. Also the instrumental is kind of boring. The whole track sounds looped like they created the 1st 64 bars and just repeated them. There is nothing wrong with that it just leads to really lazy, boring dance music. Also the singer literally sounds like he has never had sex before.


Latin music has always kind of bored me because they love their ballads, however Spanish hip hop is quality so lets find out si mierda está haciendo estallar

Nicky Jam – Hasta La Amanecer

This right here is my new shit. This song is literal fire. I does not matter what he is saying when it sounds this good. Pay attention pop charts this shit is how it is done. From context it sounds like a simple R&B pop song. However that latin beat in the back just gets. That part of the globe just knows it percussion. It also just breaks down into a straight hip hop instrumental in the middle which shouldn’t work but it does. This is gonna be in my head for days

CNCO – Quisiera

So I have chosen what seems to be a boy band a Latin one D if you must, let’s check this out. (5 minutes later) What was I expecting, yep it is a standard pop boy band shtick. The Latin flavour of the track is kind of let down by the singers with their super soft super weak vocals, but hey I’m not a 12-year-old girl so each to its own. It’s not great it’s not terrible.  

Final Thoughts

Worst Song

D.R.A.M – Broccoli Ft Lil Yachty

Hands down worst, Literal no contest, (Mortal Kombat Voice) You Win ! If Someone decides never to listen to that song based on my words then I will receive eternal salvation. But seriously don’t listen to this garbage.

Best Song

Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons With Logic, Ty Dolla $ign & X Ambassadors – Sucker For Pain

Honestly I couldn’t heap anymore praise especially considering it is a soundtrack song. Good Job guys Bravo

Honourable mentions

Nicky Jam – Hasta El Amanecer, Galantis – No Money


So there it is my thoughts on random songs by acts in the billboard chart this month. Honestly I can say I’m pleasantly surprised and a couple of these acts I definitely will be checking out.  This was surprisingly fun to do so check out monthly as I intend to do this every month.